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Seventeen things to say instead of “I’m sorry for your loss”
Real sentences you can send today. What to say to a parent whose child died, what to avoid, and why the wrong words land the way they do.
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Gold September, when your child didn’t make it
Childhood Cancer Awareness Month is built on survivors. For the families whose child died, it can be the loneliest month of the year. You’re allowed to scroll past all of it.
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Why the ribbon is gold
Parents chose it. Not a committee, not a brand agency — a group of mothers and fathers in 1997 who wanted a color that meant something. Here’s what it means.
Living Undefeated
Honest writing about childhood cancer, grief, and finding a way to be useful again. From a family who has been there.
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What to Do With Their Clothes
The drawer nobody can open. Whether you keep everything, give it all away, or never touch it — none of those is the wrong answer.
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The second year is worse
Bereaved parents tell each other the second year is harder than the first. What that means, what the research shows, and what it does not say about you.
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The brother or sister still here
The surviving brother or sister is often the most overlooked person in the room. What siblings carry, what helps, and when to go looking for more support.
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September is over. We're still here.
The gold ribbons come off today. The families don't get to put anything down. What to do in October, November and February — and what to do at 2am tonight.
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Helping others while grieving isn’t a fix
Someone told you helping others would help. It might not. What's honestly known about grief and giving back — and the small version that helped us.
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Gold September, when your child didn’t make it
Childhood Cancer Awareness Month is built on survivors. For the families whose child died, it can be the loneliest month of the year. You’re allowed to scroll past all of it.
Before you give to anyone
How to tell if a charity deserves your money
We wrote down the checklist we use. Before we send a dollar anywhere, we run the organization through CharityWatch, the BBB Wise Giving Alliance, Charity Navigator and Candid. It is one page, and it works on any charity — including this one.
Read the checklist — freeOn the site, right now. Nothing to fill in and no email needed.
Start here — free, no sign-up
Guide one · 7 pages
A Reason to Get Up
Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, and what that book can and cannot do for you after somebody dies. Who Frankl actually was, what he actually argued, and the famous quote that is not his.
Download the guide — freePDF, 7 pages. Nothing to fill in, no email, no ask attached to it.
Three more, if you want them
These are the books we read and the things we did after we lost Austin. Not advice and not therapy — an honest account of what helped us, and what the research actually says about each of it. Every statistic in them carries a source and a year.
Guide two · 9 pages
The Circling
The Power of Now, and what is actually happening when you cannot stop going over it. Includes the part no grief guide prints: meditation is not risk-free, and who should be careful.
Guide three · 11 pages
Give It Away
Why doing something for somebody else, expecting nothing back, appears to do something for you. With a verified list of places that will take you this week, and the ones that will ask you to wait a year.
Guide four · 16 pages
The First Year
The practical one. What actually has to be done, what the months afterward really look like, and fifty things that might help — each one labeled for whether there is evidence behind it.
If tonight is bad
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, 24 hours a day, anywhere in the US. You do not have to be in immediate danger to use it.
Crisis Text Line. Text HOME to 741741.
Veterans Crisis Line. Dial 988 then press 1, or text 838255.
If there is an immediate danger to life, call 911.
