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The Undefeated Fund
Four guides, provided by our family, who lost Austin
These are the books we read and the things we did. Not advice, and not therapy — an honest account of what helped us, and what the research actually says about each of it.
The first one downloads right here, with nothing to fill in.
The other three
Guide One downloads free further down this page, with nothing to fill in. The other three we send by email, because they are new and we would like to be able to tell you when we correct something.
Start here — free, no sign-up
Guide One · 7 pages
A Reason to Get Up
Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, and what that book can and cannot do for you after somebody dies. Who Frankl actually was, what he actually argued, the famous quote that is not his — and the research finding we think matters most: in the largest study of it, about half of bereaved parents never made sense of their child's death, and the people who fared worst were not the ones who never looked.
Three more, if you want them
One email, with all three attached. We do not sell or share your address, and you can tell us to stop at any time.
Guide Two · 9 pages
The Circling
The Power of Now, and what is actually happening when you cannot stop going over it. Includes the part no grief guide prints: meditation is not risk-free, and who should be careful.
Guide Three · 11 pages
Give It Away
Why doing something for somebody else, expecting nothing back, appears to do something for you. With a verified list of places that will take you this week, and the ones that will ask you to wait a year.
Guide Four · 16 pages
The First Year
The practical one. What actually has to be done, what the months afterward really look like, and fifty things that might help — each one labeled for whether there is evidence behind it.
There are seven guides now, including three new ones on the holidays, making a memorial video, and setting up an online memorial. All seven are in The Quiet Corner, free, with nothing to fill in.
The resource rooms
Lists we keep and correct, for the hours in between. Every entry says what the thing is actually good for — and where it will catch you, above the play button rather than after it. Nothing on any of them earns us a penny.
The Shelf
Twenty books and recordings, sorted by how far along you are — including the ones we would not hand to somebody in the first month.
The Movie Room
One hundred films, sorted by what the evening needs — and which ones will ambush you ninety minutes in.
The Music Room
One hundred songs, sorted by what the moment needs — for the morning you cannot get up, and for the evening you cannot face silence.
The Zen Room
Philosophy and wellness, in the words that have lasted — who actually said each one, what they actually meant, and the famous lines that were never said at all.
The Art Room
Ten works worth sitting with, and what is actually going on inside each one. Free to download and keep as a wallpaper.
The Quiet Corner
All seven guides in one place — the holidays, a memorial video, an online memorial, and the four book companions. Free, nothing to fill in.
What these are, and what they are not
They are not therapy and they are not medical, legal or financial advice. We are a small family charity, not clinicians, and we say so on every page of every guide.
There is no timeline in them and no stage you are supposed to be at. If you read one and none of it is yours, that is a fact about the guide, not about you.
Every statistic carries a primary source and a year, listed at the back of each guide so you can check us. Where the research is thin, or where it disagrees with something we believe, we say so — including in the places where that costs us the argument.
If tonight is bad
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, 24 hours a day, anywhere in the US. You do not have to be in immediate danger to use it.
Crisis Text Line. Text HOME to 741741.
Veterans Crisis Line. Dial 988 then press 1, or text 838255.
If there is an immediate danger to life, call 911.
The Undefeated Fund is a family-run 501(c)(3) public charity in Florida, EIN 92-0285573. We raise money for vetted organizations working on childhood cancer and child hunger. We do not run clinical services and we are not qualified to.
Nothing on this page is behind a paywall and none of the organizations named in the guides pays us. If a guide is useful, pass it to someone.
