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The Movie Room · a Living Undefeated resource
What is The Intouchables actually about?
Two men who have nothing in common and no interest in being improved by each other. It is the least pitying film about caregiving we found — and it carries two things you should know first.
⚠ Check before you press play
Philippe is quadriplegic after a paragliding accident, and his wife died of a terminal illness before the film opens. Both are present throughout — the accident is revisited, and his widowhood is a thread rather than a footnote. If the loss you are carrying is a spouse, this is the wrong Tuesday evening.
It also carries documented criticism of its race framing. A number of American critics argued on release that the film writes its Black lead as a source of vitality for a wealthy white man. We think the film is better than that reading allows, and we are not going to pretend the reading does not exist.
What it is
A French comedy-drama from 2011, directed by Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano, running a hundred and twelve minutes. François Cluzet plays Philippe, a wealthy Parisian who can move nothing below his neck. Omar Sy plays Driss, who turns up for the caregiving job wanting only a signature for his benefits claim and is hired precisely because he is the one applicant who does not treat Philippe as fragile. Omar Sy won the César for Best Actor. It is based on two real men, Philippe Pozzo di Borgo and Abdel Sellou.
Who this is wrong for, and when
Anyone grieving a spouse or a partner. Anyone currently doing unpaid care for someone they love and running on empty — the film is honest about how physical the work is, and that honesty can land as weight rather than relief. And anyone who needs a film with no disability and no hospital in it at all; there are plenty of those on the hundred, and this is not one.
Why it is on this list
Because it is funny first and about illness second, and almost nothing else manages that order. Most films in this territory ask you to admire somebody. This one asks you to laugh with two people who are rude to each other, and the care arrives sideways while you are not watching for it.
That is the useful thing in it for a family that has spent a year being handled gently by everybody. Somebody in this film finally treats a man as a man rather than as a condition, and it reads as a relief rather than a lesson.
If this one is not right for you
CODA — family and difference, with no villain and no hospital.
The Peanut Butter Falcon — disability written as personhood, and lighter on its feet.
Paddington 2 — if the evening needs nothing asked of it at all.
Where to watch it
Start with your library. Kanopy carries a deep international catalog and is free with a library card — search yours before paying for anything. It is otherwise widely available to rent, usually subtitled; a dubbed track exists and the subtitled version is the better evening.
We make nothing from any of these links. There are no affiliate links anywhere on this site and there never will be.
Back to the room
The Movie Room — one hundred films, sorted by what the evening needs.
How to tell if a charity deserves your money
We publish the test we use on ourselves, including the parts we do not pass yet. Read it here.
If tonight is bad
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, any time, anywhere in the United States.
Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741.
These are never behind a form on this site and never will be.
Before you give to anyone
How to tell if a charity deserves your money
We wrote down the checklist we use. Before we send a dollar anywhere, we run the organization through CharityWatch, the BBB Wise Giving Alliance, Charity Navigator and Candid. It is one page, and it works on any charity — including this one.
Read the checklist — freeOn the site, right now. Nothing to fill in and no email needed.
Start here — free, no sign-up
Guide one · 7 pages
A Reason to Get Up
Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, and what that book can and cannot do for you after somebody dies. Who Frankl actually was, what he actually argued, and the famous quote that is not his.
Download the guide — freePDF, 7 pages. Nothing to fill in, no email, no ask attached to it.
Three more, if you want them
These are the books we read and the things we did after we lost Austin. Not advice and not therapy — an honest account of what helped us, and what the research actually says about each of it. Every statistic in them carries a source and a year.
Guide two · 9 pages
The Circling
The Power of Now, and what is actually happening when you cannot stop going over it. Includes the part no grief guide prints: meditation is not risk-free, and who should be careful.
Guide three · 11 pages
Give It Away
Why doing something for somebody else, expecting nothing back, appears to do something for you. With a verified list of places that will take you this week, and the ones that will ask you to wait a year.
Guide four · 16 pages
The First Year
The practical one. What actually has to be done, what the months afterward really look like, and fifty things that might help — each one labeled for whether there is evidence behind it.
If tonight is bad
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, 24 hours a day, anywhere in the US. You do not have to be in immediate danger to use it.
Crisis Text Line. Text HOME to 741741.
Veterans Crisis Line. Dial 988 then press 1, or text 838255.
If there is an immediate danger to life, call 911.
