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The Music Room
What is “Rise Up” actually about?
Promising to carry somebody who cannot stand up on their own. Andra Day released it in 2015.
Where have you heard this before?
Possibly in the worst room of your life, and that is why this warning comes before anything else.
This record is used heavily at memorial services and on cancer wards. A meaningful share of the people reading this page will have a specific room attached to it — a service, a hospital corridor, a video somebody made. If that is you, the song is not neutral and no list can make it so.
Does it help on a hard day?
If it carries no memory for you: yes, and it is magnificent. It is one of the few songs on this list addressed to somebody who is not coping rather than somebody who is about to triumph. It does not ask you to get up. It says somebody will be there while you cannot.
That is a rarer and kinder thing than most anthems manage.
What it is
A soul ballad written by Andra Day and Jennifer Decilveo, released in 2015 on the album Cheers to the Fall. It was nominated for a Grammy. It has since been used widely in fundraising, in medical settings and at remembrance events — that association was built by listeners over years, not by the record.
Who this is wrong for, and when
Anyone who has heard it at a funeral or on a ward. That is the entire caution and it is a large group.
It is also, deliberately, a song about someone else lifting you. If the person who did that for you is the person who died, this is a harder listen than it looks.
Why it is on this list
Because the thing it does — promising company rather than recovery — is exactly what this room is for, and because leaving it off to avoid an awkward warning would have been the cowardly version of the same decision.
If this one is not right for you
Lovely Day for warmth with no weight. Oh Happy Day for company from a whole choir. Rhapsody in Blue if you want no voice at all tonight.
Where to hear it
Streaming on every major service. Read about it on Wikipedia · Find the credits on AllMusic.
We make nothing from these links. There are no affiliate links anywhere on this page and there never will be.
Back to the room
The Music Room — one hundred songs, sorted by what the moment needs.
How to tell if a charity deserves your money
We publish the test we use on ourselves, including the parts we do not pass yet. Read it here.
If tonight is bad
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988. Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741. Never behind a form on this site.
Before you give to anyone
How to tell if a charity deserves your money
We wrote down the checklist we use. Before we send a dollar anywhere, we run the organization through CharityWatch, the BBB Wise Giving Alliance, Charity Navigator and Candid. It is one page, and it works on any charity — including this one.
Read the checklist — freeOn the site, right now. Nothing to fill in and no email needed.
Start here — free, no sign-up
Guide one · 7 pages
A Reason to Get Up
Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, and what that book can and cannot do for you after somebody dies. Who Frankl actually was, what he actually argued, and the famous quote that is not his.
Download the guide — freePDF, 7 pages. Nothing to fill in, no email, no ask attached to it.
Three more, if you want them
These are the books we read and the things we did after we lost Austin. Not advice and not therapy — an honest account of what helped us, and what the research actually says about each of it. Every statistic in them carries a source and a year.
Guide two · 9 pages
The Circling
The Power of Now, and what is actually happening when you cannot stop going over it. Includes the part no grief guide prints: meditation is not risk-free, and who should be careful.
Guide three · 11 pages
Give It Away
Why doing something for somebody else, expecting nothing back, appears to do something for you. With a verified list of places that will take you this week, and the ones that will ask you to wait a year.
Guide four · 16 pages
The First Year
The practical one. What actually has to be done, what the months afterward really look like, and fifty things that might help — each one labeled for whether there is evidence behind it.
If tonight is bad
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, 24 hours a day, anywhere in the US. You do not have to be in immediate danger to use it.
Crisis Text Line. Text HOME to 741741.
Veterans Crisis Line. Dial 988 then press 1, or text 838255.
If there is an immediate danger to life, call 911.
